Better than a Tonka

My mom mentioned a toy crane we got for my cousin and it triggered my nostalgic memory of this construction toy. I used to spend hours watching these trucks move the "boulders" from one truck to the other, with as much wonder and excitement as the bucktoothed kid on the box.

Lady & A Tramp

This one was almost erased from my memory (Recall! Recall! Recall!) until my brother mentioned them. These Ms. Pac-Man baseball cards came with scratch off games in which, just like the real game, you had to eat dots and avoid the ghosts. And thank goodness it came with the most delicious stick of gum to help you pass the time. A stick of gum that made Fruit Stripe seem like a 16oz filet mignon. The only thing I can't figure out is why they made Ms. Pac-Man look like a cheap whore.

Nintendo Game & Watch

It began with a game called "Fire". So simple...save people jumping from a burning building by bouncing them into the ambulance using your trampoline. But it quickly became an exciting series of games, including titles like "Octopus", "Popeye", "Parachute" and "Manhole". All simple single screen LCD games. These games would hit it's peak with the release of "Donkey Kong"...a dual screen flip top game. My friend owned this game and I played it so much at school that I wanted my own. So on my next birthday I was excited to unwrap my present and find..."Oil Panic". Don't feel too bad, I ended up loving that too.

It's no wonder why I'm such a good driver (ie road rage maniac) since a lot of my favorite toys were driving ones. This one had a little screen that you had to guide the car through without crashing. This was no good to practice parallel parking though since it had every gear but reverse. Unless you parked head first. Costanza be damned.

Git 'Um!! Git 'Um!!

This was my absolute favorite TV show as a kid until "Hart to Hart" hit the airwaves in 1979. Kikaida was a Japanese import about Jiro, a human-like robot built to protect his creator and his family. The villain was Professor Gill who used his flute to render Kikaida helpless as his soldiers in Converse shoes attacked him. Monsters and poorly staged action abound. But to a 6 year old, it was the greatest thing put on film. It was very popular in Hawaii, but if I were to ask my Asian counterparts on the mainland, they've never heard of it. I watched every episode and the only thing I ever learned was that "tsu tsu gu" is Japanese for "to be continued". Oh, that and "Kikaida" is Japanese for "kick ass TV show"!

And the best part? The very catchy opening theme song. Go go go!

The ankh!! Where's the MFing ankh?!!

From the archives of my beloved Atari 2600 comes this game based on 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'. This game was a mystery adventure like Aztec (remember that Apple IIe fans?) or Tomb Raider (Atari could not have pulled off a buxom heroine back then with square block graphics). You moved through different rooms and repetitive music, picking up weapons, tools and clues along the way. It was so challenging that I even had to cross-connect my 'neighborhood best friend' with my 'school best friend' in order to exchange hints and solutions. It felt like I was cheating on someone.

Best part of this game...I didn't even own it! But it remains one of the most memorable video games of my time. If that's not a testament to it's greatness then I don't know what is.

"Gentleman, we can rebuild him."

Back in my day, er 1974, the original Robocop was Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man, which was one of my favorite action figures growing up. Though this one was more like a doll. It had a magnifying glass in his eye that you look through from a hole in the back of his head. It had robotic parts in his limbs. And the best part, it came with an earpiece and a wire clip that you attach to the metal part on your rotary phone. When connected, you had a real working transistor radio! Wow! Little known fact, Richard Donner is credited as one of the directors in the series and he went on to direct such faves as The Goonies and Lethal Weapon. And Lee Majors? Well, he went on to his next series...the FALLLLL guyyyyy.

Kerboomm?!

We all remember Battleship as a game near and dear to our hearts. All of us at one time or another has mimicked that whiny kid crying out "you sunk my bat-tle-ship!" How great was it then when Milton Bradley released this electronic version complete with sound effects! Of course, it was a pain in the ass to setup the game since you had to pre-program into the "computer" where your ships were. But after that 45 minutes you were lost in a world of seek and destroy. Until the next time when you bypassed the setup and used it just like the classic version.

Was I actually born before mechanical pencils?!

In honor of Super Bowl Sunday, I present to you one of the best things about being a kid...pencils. Ok, not just any #2 pencil (anyone ever find a #3 pencil?!) or that gigantor 1/2" thick pencil (for 8 year olds with carpal tunnel?!), but NFL team pencils. These came in an assortment of colors to match your favorite teams and had the name embossed on it. My favorite? The Miami Dolphins pencil. I didn't even watch football and yet I loved these things. How else would I ever know the Cardinals used to be in St. Louis?

Starbuck...before Starbucks

Sorry for the neglect, but I finally had a chance to get back to this blog.

I will begin 2009 with this item from my childhood that continued to nourish my love of villains in film and TV. The Cylon Raider from TV's Battlestar Galactica had retractable sides to ready it for battle. Due to a child's death as a result of swallowing one of the ship's red torpedoes, later versions of the toy had torpedoes that did not fire. I was lucky enough to have one that spring fired and smart enough to know it wasn't a Tic-Tac.

Look! Up in the air!

When I found a picture of this toy I was so excited since I had such vivid memories of playing it as a kid. It was a helicopter on the end of a wire and you could control it's altitude and speed at which it circled the base. Kind of like a cool version of the Dumbo ride at Disneyland. Except this one you couldn't ride in. Believe me, I tried. It also came with objects that you could grab with the hook beneath the chopper. I loved this toy.

Then I slowly began to realize that perhaps I didn't actually own it at all. In fact it belonged to my friend down the street from us. So instead, I played with my friend's VertiBird. That's what she said. Is it possible that some of our fondest memories are actually those of other people's stuff? When you're a kid I guess it all kind of melds into one shared treasure chest of toys that every friend contributes to. Until you get one of them mad and they take their Nerf football home with them. I sure was an asshole sometimes.

All I ever wanted for Christmas

In 1977, a little space movie played in theaters that would change my life forever. From that moment on I would root for the bad guy, give up my 6-shooter for a laser gun, crave 'behind the scenes' movie info, and fall in love with my sister. Star Wars even turned any flashlight or gift wrap tube into the greatest weapon of all time, accompanied, of course, by my own "vvvrrr" sound f/x.

So you can imagine the joy then when I unwrapped this toy for Christmas. Marketed as The Force Beam (this was not a Lucasfilm authorized item) it was a generic flashlight with a plastic tube attached and a colored light in either red or blue (mine was red...duh). Who cared that the force binds and surrounds us and is not technically carried in a light saber. I carried this everywhere and swung it at anything and everything. I'd like to think I spent hours whacking my brother with it, but alas I can't remember every fun memory in my life.

You mean this 'weird' restaurant?!

My first instinct is to name Chuckwagon as the restaurant to nurture my love of prime rib, but, in fact, it was this long gone restaurant chain on Kapiolani Blvd...Victoria Station. Our parents had a love of eating out that far surpassed anyone else I grew up with and stays with me today. To us, a 'home cooked meal' meant we were leaving home to go eat a meal that someone else cooked.

This restaurant had a boxcar train on the side of the building and besides the prime rib, I loved coming here because they gave me a placemat that I could fold into a cardboard train of my own! The Old Spaghetti Factory would soon use the same idea, but there the placemat would fold into a 1920's lamp...not so interesting. I even remember the red English phone booth and stuffed mushrooms (I don't think I liked them) that are still on the menu today. Yup, there is one left...in Salem, Massachusetts.

Tomy was Da Bomb!

I almost forgot about this precious little game I had as a kid. It was a racing game and you had to use the little steering wheel to maneuver your car around the oncoming traffic. If you crashed, an orange red "explosion" lit up. I can't remember if it was run on batteries or by winding the game up like a watch, but it's amazing to me how little was needed to keep my attention back then.

Years later I would pretend to be a Demon Driver as I drove my Mom's station wagon...to prom. Let's just say that this driver was not losing his virginity any time soon. Hmm, perhaps a red Celica could help?

You know, I've never actually used this product

I don't remember a lot of commercials from my childhood, but who can forget this catchy tune. No, not the Big Mac song...this one for Bain de Soleil tanning lotion. We were all too young to really see the seductive tones in this commercial, but it sure beat those Coppertone ads. I would later hear that narrator's voice again, after midnight...on Cinemax. Oh those crazy Frenchmen!

Smoother than a Colt 45...

Music has always been a huge part of my life. The first two records I remember as a kid were two themes to Japanese shows, Kikaida and Rainbow Man. Remember Rainbow Man? He wore a turban and could turn different colors, each of which had it's own super power. Today it's a show on Logo with Doogie Howser fighting Prop 8. Not quite the same idea.

Anyway, how did I play these 45's? On my very own record player, of course. This one was portable and came in it's own case with a handle. Somehow though when I went jogging with it the music kept skipping. I could never figure that out.

Mommy, why is the man's wrist so hairy?

Being that Star Wars is listed as my number one favorite movie of all time, I thought I'd better start spending some time on it's merchandise. Not quite the collectible that comes to mind first (except for mine) is this game of speed. The object was to destroy the Death Star by pressing the button before your opponent and having the quicker reaction time. It was a fun game, but got old fast. At that point I started to swing it around and pretend it was a light saber...with a Death Star in the middle of it.

No, it's not a cribbage board. And, what the hell is cribbage?!

This was like the game concentration but for smart people. The object was to guess the four colored pieces your opponent has chosen to hide behind his little fort. But wait! You ALSO had to guess the exact ORDER he put them in. Whoa! Sarcasm, yes. Hours of enjoyment, absolutely. I couldn't get enough of this game.

I never noticed it back then, but I think the box is also the poster for 'Emmanuel Goes to Bangkok'.

About as close to reading I ever got

Long before cable, Beta, VHS, DVD, Bluray and the Internet the only way to enjoy a movie you just saw in theaters was to listen to it. That's what made these so exciting to a young boy who had such disdain for books. It came with either a cassette or record that read the book to you, complete with sound effects! Wow!

Now if only I can find a read along version of O.J. Simpson's 'If I Did It'.

Increase power to maximum. We are going THROUGH!

In 1979, 'Alien' used the tagline "in space no one can hear you scream". That same year no one could hear you screaming during this movie since chances are it was a pretty empty theater. This was Disney's attempt at a big budget ($20 million!) sci-fi movie to capitalize on the success of Star Wars. Audiences weren't that interested, but for me it was one of the great classics of my childhood and I would add Maximillian to my growing list of favorite movie villains. Any chance I had I would draw him, the Palomino, the Cygnus or even V.I.N.CENT. The film did go on to get two Academy Award nominations for cinematography and visual effects, but lost to 'Apocalypse Now' and 'Alien'. Here's a bit of trivia for you...the main characters in Michael Mann's film 'Collateral' are named Vincent and Max. Hmmmm, coincidence?

Favorite scene? Well, the laser fight on the catwalks, of course. Second favorite? Maximilian using his blades to shred Anthony Perkins (Dr. Alex Durant). Yes, I was dark, even at nine.

I would love to see Disney do a remake today, perhaps with Michael Bay at the helm. That way I can't make heads or tails of the action scenes, but everything would sure look pretty. He could cast the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus (IT'S MILEY!!) as the crew of the Palomino, with Hugh Laurie as crazy Dr. Hans Reinhardt. And the voices behind V.I.N.CENT and BOB? Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.

Even my brother should remember this one

Our parents owned a pool hall AND an arcade, but who wanted to be there when we could be at home playing Atomic Pinball?! Oh, I guess we did.

Like farting in a pool

I think these were the only reason Shirokiya was in business at one point. They had tons of these things. A rings one. A basketball one. Even one you had to get Darth Vader's mask onto his burnt scarred head. OK, maybe not that last one, but that would've been cool! The basic premise was simple...push the button to blow air into the water and move objects. We definitely owned the dolphin one, but not sure about the one with the crab pooping.

Back seat driver

One of my favorite video games as a small child (hmm, a redundant phrase like 'short Japanese') was Fire Truck. It could be played by two players with one driving the front and the other steering the back. There was a horn and bell you could ring and you basically just had to drive around the neighborhood avoiding cars and oil spills. This was the training ground for my masterful traffic weaving I currently utilize in LA today.

The smart kids played RISK

About as challenging as Candyland, Mattel released this board game based on the, er, popluar(?) drink. This one used clay (not Play-Doh) and a pineapple mold. I think you were the pineapple and somehow your opponent could "punch" you by smashing your game token. I think the object of the game was to displace anger.

"Has anyone seen my luger?"

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So one of the first movies I remember watching on TV is 'Goin Coconuts' with Donny & Marie Osmond. There was this new phenomena called "cable television" sweeping the nation and it had movies and shows on 20 hours a day(!). Correct, not 24 hours, only 20 since the other four hours were needed for maintenance of some kind. The BofA website has since adopted this annoying policy.

Anyway, it was about the twins going to Hawaii for a concert, Marie obtaining a priceless necklace and a band of bumbling bad guys chasing after them. A movie shot in Hawaii wouldn't suck this bad again til 'North Shore' in 1987.

Don't miss the clip at 1:27. Do you recognize that building in the background? That's right, Oceania Floating Chinese Restaurant. Now that's old school.

This is how I know I'm old

I'm going to delve deep into my childhood and dig out this old thing. I'm not sure if anyone even remembers it. It was a portable electronic about the size of a cordless phone. Ok, a cordless phone from 1975. Wait, those didn't exist back then. Point is, it was huge.

It had different games on it which I can't remember for the life of me. They were very similar to SIMON and I think the only reason I loved this thing was that it reminded me of Maximilian from The Black Hole. Don't worry, that one will appear later in this blog. Count on it.

But that leads to an even greater classic...

Elevator Action. Next to Dragon's Lair, I may have put more quarters into this machine than any other. Such a simple concept (take elevators to get to the bottom floor while shooting the bad guys) but hours of fun. Just like an Etch-A-Sketch.

Also available at Tilt! Ala Moana

A friend of mine mentioned this game which is definitely a classic. The key to this game was mastering the technique of throwing grenades, which, if you've ever seen me throw a baseball, I have not.

Knowing is believing...or something like that.

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These were a part of every episode of G.I. Joe. Thank goodness for this episode since back then there seemed to be a surplus of abandoned refrigerators in our neighborhood.

It's no Wii, but still...

So this game is actually what gave birth to this blog. A friend of mine had this and we all thought we had died and gone to heaven. Recess couldn't be long enough, study time (remember that gift?!) not important enough and who wanted to eat lunch when you could be playing Tron?!

Of course, this replaced my interest in girls, which I would regret years later.

One of my favorites

They hand this to every Asian kid as he exits the womb.

It had games and was a real calculator that I took everywhere. That way I could add up the number of times the cool kids beat me up for having it.

Just in time for the holidays

The perfect Christmas gift for every 10 year old serial killer, child molester or pot smoker.

I didn't actually have this as a kid. Or did I?