All I ever wanted for Christmas

In 1977, a little space movie played in theaters that would change my life forever. From that moment on I would root for the bad guy, give up my 6-shooter for a laser gun, crave 'behind the scenes' movie info, and fall in love with my sister. Star Wars even turned any flashlight or gift wrap tube into the greatest weapon of all time, accompanied, of course, by my own "vvvrrr" sound f/x.

So you can imagine the joy then when I unwrapped this toy for Christmas. Marketed as The Force Beam (this was not a Lucasfilm authorized item) it was a generic flashlight with a plastic tube attached and a colored light in either red or blue (mine was red...duh). Who cared that the force binds and surrounds us and is not technically carried in a light saber. I carried this everywhere and swung it at anything and everything. I'd like to think I spent hours whacking my brother with it, but alas I can't remember every fun memory in my life.

You mean this 'weird' restaurant?!

My first instinct is to name Chuckwagon as the restaurant to nurture my love of prime rib, but, in fact, it was this long gone restaurant chain on Kapiolani Blvd...Victoria Station. Our parents had a love of eating out that far surpassed anyone else I grew up with and stays with me today. To us, a 'home cooked meal' meant we were leaving home to go eat a meal that someone else cooked.

This restaurant had a boxcar train on the side of the building and besides the prime rib, I loved coming here because they gave me a placemat that I could fold into a cardboard train of my own! The Old Spaghetti Factory would soon use the same idea, but there the placemat would fold into a 1920's lamp...not so interesting. I even remember the red English phone booth and stuffed mushrooms (I don't think I liked them) that are still on the menu today. Yup, there is one left...in Salem, Massachusetts.

Tomy was Da Bomb!

I almost forgot about this precious little game I had as a kid. It was a racing game and you had to use the little steering wheel to maneuver your car around the oncoming traffic. If you crashed, an orange red "explosion" lit up. I can't remember if it was run on batteries or by winding the game up like a watch, but it's amazing to me how little was needed to keep my attention back then.

Years later I would pretend to be a Demon Driver as I drove my Mom's station wagon...to prom. Let's just say that this driver was not losing his virginity any time soon. Hmm, perhaps a red Celica could help?

You know, I've never actually used this product

I don't remember a lot of commercials from my childhood, but who can forget this catchy tune. No, not the Big Mac song...this one for Bain de Soleil tanning lotion. We were all too young to really see the seductive tones in this commercial, but it sure beat those Coppertone ads. I would later hear that narrator's voice again, after midnight...on Cinemax. Oh those crazy Frenchmen!

Smoother than a Colt 45...

Music has always been a huge part of my life. The first two records I remember as a kid were two themes to Japanese shows, Kikaida and Rainbow Man. Remember Rainbow Man? He wore a turban and could turn different colors, each of which had it's own super power. Today it's a show on Logo with Doogie Howser fighting Prop 8. Not quite the same idea.

Anyway, how did I play these 45's? On my very own record player, of course. This one was portable and came in it's own case with a handle. Somehow though when I went jogging with it the music kept skipping. I could never figure that out.

Mommy, why is the man's wrist so hairy?

Being that Star Wars is listed as my number one favorite movie of all time, I thought I'd better start spending some time on it's merchandise. Not quite the collectible that comes to mind first (except for mine) is this game of speed. The object was to destroy the Death Star by pressing the button before your opponent and having the quicker reaction time. It was a fun game, but got old fast. At that point I started to swing it around and pretend it was a light saber...with a Death Star in the middle of it.

No, it's not a cribbage board. And, what the hell is cribbage?!

This was like the game concentration but for smart people. The object was to guess the four colored pieces your opponent has chosen to hide behind his little fort. But wait! You ALSO had to guess the exact ORDER he put them in. Whoa! Sarcasm, yes. Hours of enjoyment, absolutely. I couldn't get enough of this game.

I never noticed it back then, but I think the box is also the poster for 'Emmanuel Goes to Bangkok'.

About as close to reading I ever got

Long before cable, Beta, VHS, DVD, Bluray and the Internet the only way to enjoy a movie you just saw in theaters was to listen to it. That's what made these so exciting to a young boy who had such disdain for books. It came with either a cassette or record that read the book to you, complete with sound effects! Wow!

Now if only I can find a read along version of O.J. Simpson's 'If I Did It'.

Increase power to maximum. We are going THROUGH!

In 1979, 'Alien' used the tagline "in space no one can hear you scream". That same year no one could hear you screaming during this movie since chances are it was a pretty empty theater. This was Disney's attempt at a big budget ($20 million!) sci-fi movie to capitalize on the success of Star Wars. Audiences weren't that interested, but for me it was one of the great classics of my childhood and I would add Maximillian to my growing list of favorite movie villains. Any chance I had I would draw him, the Palomino, the Cygnus or even V.I.N.CENT. The film did go on to get two Academy Award nominations for cinematography and visual effects, but lost to 'Apocalypse Now' and 'Alien'. Here's a bit of trivia for you...the main characters in Michael Mann's film 'Collateral' are named Vincent and Max. Hmmmm, coincidence?

Favorite scene? Well, the laser fight on the catwalks, of course. Second favorite? Maximilian using his blades to shred Anthony Perkins (Dr. Alex Durant). Yes, I was dark, even at nine.

I would love to see Disney do a remake today, perhaps with Michael Bay at the helm. That way I can't make heads or tails of the action scenes, but everything would sure look pretty. He could cast the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus (IT'S MILEY!!) as the crew of the Palomino, with Hugh Laurie as crazy Dr. Hans Reinhardt. And the voices behind V.I.N.CENT and BOB? Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.

Even my brother should remember this one

Our parents owned a pool hall AND an arcade, but who wanted to be there when we could be at home playing Atomic Pinball?! Oh, I guess we did.

Like farting in a pool

I think these were the only reason Shirokiya was in business at one point. They had tons of these things. A rings one. A basketball one. Even one you had to get Darth Vader's mask onto his burnt scarred head. OK, maybe not that last one, but that would've been cool! The basic premise was simple...push the button to blow air into the water and move objects. We definitely owned the dolphin one, but not sure about the one with the crab pooping.

Back seat driver

One of my favorite video games as a small child (hmm, a redundant phrase like 'short Japanese') was Fire Truck. It could be played by two players with one driving the front and the other steering the back. There was a horn and bell you could ring and you basically just had to drive around the neighborhood avoiding cars and oil spills. This was the training ground for my masterful traffic weaving I currently utilize in LA today.

The smart kids played RISK

About as challenging as Candyland, Mattel released this board game based on the, er, popluar(?) drink. This one used clay (not Play-Doh) and a pineapple mold. I think you were the pineapple and somehow your opponent could "punch" you by smashing your game token. I think the object of the game was to displace anger.

"Has anyone seen my luger?"

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So one of the first movies I remember watching on TV is 'Goin Coconuts' with Donny & Marie Osmond. There was this new phenomena called "cable television" sweeping the nation and it had movies and shows on 20 hours a day(!). Correct, not 24 hours, only 20 since the other four hours were needed for maintenance of some kind. The BofA website has since adopted this annoying policy.

Anyway, it was about the twins going to Hawaii for a concert, Marie obtaining a priceless necklace and a band of bumbling bad guys chasing after them. A movie shot in Hawaii wouldn't suck this bad again til 'North Shore' in 1987.

Don't miss the clip at 1:27. Do you recognize that building in the background? That's right, Oceania Floating Chinese Restaurant. Now that's old school.

This is how I know I'm old

I'm going to delve deep into my childhood and dig out this old thing. I'm not sure if anyone even remembers it. It was a portable electronic about the size of a cordless phone. Ok, a cordless phone from 1975. Wait, those didn't exist back then. Point is, it was huge.

It had different games on it which I can't remember for the life of me. They were very similar to SIMON and I think the only reason I loved this thing was that it reminded me of Maximilian from The Black Hole. Don't worry, that one will appear later in this blog. Count on it.

But that leads to an even greater classic...

Elevator Action. Next to Dragon's Lair, I may have put more quarters into this machine than any other. Such a simple concept (take elevators to get to the bottom floor while shooting the bad guys) but hours of fun. Just like an Etch-A-Sketch.

Also available at Tilt! Ala Moana

A friend of mine mentioned this game which is definitely a classic. The key to this game was mastering the technique of throwing grenades, which, if you've ever seen me throw a baseball, I have not.

Knowing is believing...or something like that.

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These were a part of every episode of G.I. Joe. Thank goodness for this episode since back then there seemed to be a surplus of abandoned refrigerators in our neighborhood.

It's no Wii, but still...

So this game is actually what gave birth to this blog. A friend of mine had this and we all thought we had died and gone to heaven. Recess couldn't be long enough, study time (remember that gift?!) not important enough and who wanted to eat lunch when you could be playing Tron?!

Of course, this replaced my interest in girls, which I would regret years later.

One of my favorites

They hand this to every Asian kid as he exits the womb.

It had games and was a real calculator that I took everywhere. That way I could add up the number of times the cool kids beat me up for having it.

Just in time for the holidays

The perfect Christmas gift for every 10 year old serial killer, child molester or pot smoker.

I didn't actually have this as a kid. Or did I?

In space, no one can hear your screaming child

Based on the 1979 horror film, Kenner released this toy. I remember playing with this at Liberty House (that's a Hawaii version of Macy's for you mainlanders, er white people) and thought it was kind of gross. The top of his head came off and you could push out his inner chompers. What parent would be so far out of his mind to think that this was an OK toy for a child?! Well, actually I know of one. But that's beside the point. He actually liked the monster in the movie, I just liked when Sigourney Weaver stripped down to a tank top and panties. You can see where our priorities were even as 9 year olds.

My first toy memory...after 'blocks'

I'll start with this little gem. I think they actually still make this today, but instead of a rotary phone it's a iphone attached to a string that your kid can drag around the house. Good thing they'll only be interested in it for 5 minutes because there'll be a new version out by then.

Blog 2.0 beta

Well, I'm having so much fun with my OTHER blog that I decided to create a second one. This one is G rated though I reserve the right to get PG or R at times. I won't go PG-13 because that simply did not exist while I was growing up. Thank you Temple of Doom.

As I head toward my mid-life crisis I think it's a great time to look back at the pop culture that surrounded me as I was growing up. Back when there were no text messaging, American Idols, ipods or even remote controls. When morning game shows were king and one of the few popular talk show hosts was Phil Donahue. When Star Trek was on TV and Buck Rogers was in movies and Fantasia was just plain boring. And video games were little blips on a screen about to be hit over the head with something called "Space Invaders". Oh what a simple time it was.